ramblings from the noisedoctor

May 20, 2009

that’s an interesting device you’re after

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — Tags: — noisedoctor @ 6:48 am

I saw this last week as a subject line on a posting on our local freecycle group.

Wanted: refrigerator lawnmower

I just had to read the message to learn what a refrigerator lawnmower was. But, when I read the message (“We are in need of a working refrigerator and a lawnmower that runs.”) I was just a little disappointed–nothing more than a missing conjunction. Dang, I thought there was a new lawnmower that could keep my lemonade cool.

April 8, 2009

do as we say, not as we do

Filed under: humor, soapbox, unclear on the concept, useless junk — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 3:19 pm

Yet another example of “do as we say, not as we do” today. I got a 16-page company newsletter/magazine in the mail. Now, I got mine in the mail because I work from home. I assume everyone else got theirs at the office. But, really, that’s a trivial matter. On page 4, I see:

Become an environmental steward

Join the thousands of team members who are already helping improve our efficiency (and profitability) by greening [company name].

Oh… but it gets even better. On the next page in a nice colorful block, under “Five quick ways to ‘green’ your workplace” it says “Print smarter. Encourage team members to print in black and white, print only pages needed and print double-sided.”

Let’s see… I’m holding a 16-page color document. Oh, but at least it’s double sided… Because, gee, I guess it’s easier/cheaper to print a few hundred thousand of these than make a PDF and email it to everyone, huh?

Brilliant.

March 26, 2009

no such thing…

Filed under: freecycle, humor, wildlife — noisedoctor @ 8:19 am

I saw someone posted this on our local freecycle group yesterday:

WANTED: Squirrel proof bird feeders

Yeah… I guess this person doesn’t realize there is no such thing as a “squirrel proof” bird feeder. The best you can ever hope for is “squirrel slow-them-down-and-make-them-think-about-how-to-outwit-the-contraption-and-frustrate-you-to-no-end” bird feeder.

Oh well, it’s nice to hope…

multifunctional

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — noisedoctor @ 7:53 am

Here’s another result from our local freecycle nazi, er, moderator’s rule that you have to combine all your offer postings together:

Offer: 65 gallon fish tank/dog food container

So, if I get tired of taking care of the fish, I could use it to store dog food. That’s pretty handy. I’ll take it! 🙂

February 10, 2009

so voluntary, it’s required!

Filed under: humor, lame companies, soapbox, unclear on the concept — noisedoctor @ 3:39 pm

The company for whom I have worked for the last 1.5 years was bought up at the end of last year. So, we’re going through the process of applying for jobs within the “new” company. No big deal, right?

So, as I’m completing my profile today, I reached a page that said “entering your sex and race information is strictly voluntary…” and “failure to provide that information will in no way affect you…” So, I decided not to enter it. I clicked the “continue” button.

I’m sure you can guess what happened next. Yup. took me back to the page with a red warning message: “You must enter all the information on this page before proceeding.”

So, it’s voluntary for me to provide that information–but it’s required. Brilliant! I’m applying for a job at a company that can’t tell the difference between optional and required. If I were just a few years older I could work as a greeter at Wal-Mart…

November 7, 2008

spiked girl scouts?

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 10:27 am

One of the (IMHO) annoying policies that our local freecycle list moderator (aka Freecycle Nazi) put in place is that if you are offering multiple items you must combine them into one post. You get a nastygram if you have more than one posting per day, unless you’re offering a major list of items. So, that leads to some very interesting combinations of items. This one struck me as funny.

OFFER: Girl Scout book and 10″ spikes in [—]
Book – Leader’s Guide Girl Scout Badges and Signs 86 pages
Thirty 10″ x 3/8″ diameter metal spikes

Yeah, I know it’s not spiked girl scouts, but…

October 31, 2008

cute witch?

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 2:04 pm

In honor of Halloween (not that I celebrate it), here’s a local freecycle posting from a couple weeks ago.

Wanted- Cute Witch Costume for 8 yr old girl
No scare creepy witch but something more friendly would be nice.

Naturally. You want your child to dress as a witch but not be scary. Brilliant.

garbage full of boys?

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 12:11 pm

This just struck me as funny. I missed the offer post and just saw the taken post. I hope they just forgot a couple words in there… like “bag” and “clothes” maybe?

Taken garbage full of size 8-10 boys

what, not a house too?

Filed under: freecycle, humor, useless junk — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 12:05 pm

This just might be one of my favorite excessive freecycle wanted posts.

**wanted:patio set/riding lawn mower/pool/front & screen doors
patio set, riding lawn mower, hard shell pool, front door and 2 screen
doors. I live in the ___ area. Thanks

**Added items to subject line

I think the part that is funniest to me is that the moderator edited this posting (hence the ** in the subject and the tag in the message of what the moderator did) and didn’t write back to the person posting that they are just a tad [oozing sarcasm] excessive.

June 27, 2008

a lazy “environmentally friendly backyard”

Filed under: humor, people unlike us, unclear on the concept, useless junk — noisedoctor @ 9:22 am

I spent a little time inside catching up on some old HGTV programs. One show I tape every weekend and eventually watch is Landscape Smart. They often have some good stuff and give me some ideas for my yard.

One episode I watched was Environmentally Friendly Backyard. Most of it was good. But… the homeowner said something close to the following (I forget the exact words) as they were ripping out the existing contents of their yard:

We have an electric dryer, the clothes-lines can go.

The “environmentally friendly” aspect of their back yard centered around filtering rainwater. They obviously didn’t recognize the hypocrisy of saying they’re trying to be “environmentally friendly” but not being willing to take a few minutes to hang up their clothes outside, huh? Which is “harder” on the environment? Unfiltered rainfall or the electric used to dry clothes? I honestly don’t know the answer. But, I’d say that if you want to portray yourself to the public as “environmentally friendly” you might at least not put down line-drying clothes.

Boo to HGTV. You should have just edited that part out of the show. Leaving it in there was just silly.

And, yes… I hang out our clothes except when it gets below 45 degrees. In fairness, now that my wife works at home caring for our son, we share that task roughly 50-50, but I’ve been the primary laundry-hanger person for 6 years. It’s really not that hard, people.

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