ramblings from the noisedoctor

January 14, 2010

a wild emotional roller coaster ends sadly

Filed under: pregnancy — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 11:45 pm

Several days before Christmas, my wife and I found out she was pregnant. We were excited, albeit a little surprised. We weren’t trying but we weren’t “not not trying” as I put it. I think my wife was especially shocked since we weren’t very “active” that month so to speak–especially around when she would have normally ovulated.

Shortly after Christmas, however, the roller coaster began. My wife started having a lot of spotting. That led to some questionable lab test results on her quant levels (different labs producing vastly different results showed her levels dropping when in fact they weren’t). So, that led to an early ultrasound right before New Years. There was a visible heartbeat and much rejoicing. There was evidence of a significant uterine bleed. Soon, the spotting was slowing down and my wife was much more at ease with the situation.

This Monday there was a bit of heavier bleeding going on again with some clots being passed. She called the doctor and was scheduled for an ultrasound and doctor visit on Wednesday (yesterday). We knew the ultrasound tech and she surprised us by immediately turning on the doppler audio so we could hear a heart beat (I doubt that’s normal procedure, but we’re friends…). The baby grew at a normal rate and the heart rate was virtually ideal at 148. There was no evidence of the bleed. Apparently what happened on Monday was the final healing process for the bleed. We were so excited.

Then, last night my wife started bleeding again. She thought maybe it was a result of the doctor exam. Then she started getting some cramps and low back pain. That led to serious bleeding and cramping this morning. That prompted an immediate call to the doctor’s office and a trip in there. Praise God for retired grandparents able to drop their Bible study plans to care for our son!

God also worked out the timing that we were able to make it back to an exam room before things got bad. The cramps got intense and tissue started to pass. Thankfully, the staff at the office was exceptional. After a few private moments in tearful prayer, they allowed us to have a quick ultrasound to verify that the baby was indeed gone and supported our decision to head to the hospital for a D&E.

We are indeed sad for this tiny baby which we won’t have a chance to meet until we get to heaven. It’s so much harder given how positive our news was yesterday.

As I sat for the hours waiting for my wife to go in for her surgery, the thought that kept going through my mind was from Job 1:21:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” (Job 1:21)

It’s been a strange roller coaster of emotions the past few weeks. Today it turned definitively sad.

We are encouraged to have gotten pregnant so “easily” this time (2 months of “not not trying vs. 18+ months of trying. We are glad to have the support of many godly friends and family to help support us. We are thankful for God’s many promises of mercy and comfort in His Word. We know he will work through this somehow for our eternal good.

Sad, but moving forward.

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April 16, 2008

it’s a boy…

Filed under: clomid, family, infertility, pregnancy — Tags: — noisedoctor @ 3:52 pm

Just a tad belated here now that he’s 10 weeks old… But that’s why I haven’t had anything to say lately. My wife delivered a happy and healthy baby boy on 2/2/2008. He’s a lot of work but the best gift God has ever given me.

January 26, 2008

where have i been?

Filed under: family, personal, pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 7:50 am

Nowhere really. I just haven’t felt like posting anything. Well, I’ve felt like it, I just haven’t had the motivation. I worked really hard at getting the nursery ready (hard because I’m such a perfectionist), all the new baby clothes washed and put away, and helping to take care of my wife who is now out of work and on bed rest. But for some reason I woke up at 5am today and couldn’t get back to sleep. So, I guess it’s time to do a little Bible Study and maybe post a couple random things before I start cleaning the house.

October 17, 2007

ugh, I look 23 weeks pregnant

Filed under: humor, marriage, pregnancy, useless junk — Tags: — noisedoctor @ 9:49 am

I’m not a skinny guy and like most guys, I carry all my extra weight in my “pouch.” One of the things I’ve been joking with my wife about has been that with her being pregnant, she’d eventually get a bigger belly than me for the first time. Last week (at the end of week 21), I thought that “magical” moment had come. I pulled out a tape measure, only to find out that my belly was still a little bit bigger.

Ugh. That means I look 23 weeks pregnant. But, on the plus side, I don’t look as pregnant as I once did. 5 years ago I was 40 pounds heavier, and looked about 7 months pregnant. At least I’m moving the right direction…

September 23, 2007

kick for daddy

Filed under: family, pregnancy — Tags: , , — noisedoctor @ 7:15 am

Friday night I got to feel our baby kick for the first time. For the past week or two, when my wife prepares for bed, I’ve been laying next to her with my hand on her belly since the baby often kicks when she’s still. But I had never managed to feel one of the kicks. We just finished week 19, so the baby is still pretty tiny in there.

We usually read a devotion before going to sleep. Friday she suggested that I read louder and near her belly. The baby kicked a few times while I was reading but I was reading and didn’t have my hand on her belly to feel it. After reading, I was feeling for a kick but none came.

As I was about to get up (I usually tuck my wife into bed then get up for a few hours since I don’t require nearly as much sleep as she does), I leaned over and put my lips right against her belly and said loudly, “Kick for daddy!” The baby immediately complied with a rather forceful kick–enough for me to feel.

Amazing. My child is only 19 weeks and can follow directions. Well, that or I scared the poor child nearly to death. 🙂

August 27, 2007

careful what you ask a seven-year-old boy

Filed under: family, humor, pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 2:40 pm

This weekend we went on a family vacation. We went to a very nice state park in Delaware. My parents own a 28-foot camper. In addition to my folks, me, and my wife, my sister and her family (husband and 3 nephews: 7, 5, 2) came along. We had a great time.

The best part was during breakfast on Sunday morning. The adults had discussed that we would probably tell the boys about their new cousin this weekend. We got discussing some friend of the family when my sister said, “you know, [name of person] is a really nice name for a girl,” which lead to a few jokes about several possible baby names. After a minute or two of that, my sister asked her boys, “do you guys know why we’re talking about baby names?” They didn’t quite get it, so we told them to expect a new cousin early next year.

The best part was my sister asking her oldest boy (7), “don’t you have anything you want to say to your aunt and uncle?,” to which he immediately replied, “good luck!”

Everyone got a great laugh out of that.

August 11, 2007

so, when do I get my wife back?

Filed under: marriage, pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 6:27 am

I feel like I’ve been living alone for most of the past two months. There are times that I see evidence that there’s a zombie sharing my house and bed.

My wife is now almost 13 1/2 weeks into our pregnancy. I just keep hoping that she will hit this “energy boost” that I keep hearing about that’s supposed to kick in at the 2nd trimester. The weekends aren’t so bad. But, during the week, when she gets home from work, I can usually get about 3 sentences out of her before the eyes glaze over and “zombie-mode” kicks in. I just hope I get back the woman I love here at some point.

Dealing with the food aversions and crazed eating games hasn’t been too bad–more funny to watch: going from “I’m not hungry” to “I need to eat something right now” to preparing a huge plate of something (usually pasta or mashed potatoes) to “I can’t eat any more” (usually after 3 or 4 bites out of the huge plate). I knew my wife would be tired early on in pregnancy. I just didn’t know she’d sleep 12 hours and be barely communicative during her pseudo-waking hours.

I’ll survive… I just hope the zombie moves out and my wife returns… I miss her. I miss us.

July 31, 2007

ultrasound pics

Filed under: pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 11:26 am

I thought it would be fun to post our ultrasound pictures. I’ll hope to update this post as we go.

(more…)

June 30, 2007

praise to God for my house, family, and job

Filed under: Christianity, family, marriage, personal, pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 9:57 am

This week I celebrated the 5-year “anniversary” of closing on my house. At the time, I was dating someone, though not convinced it would last–and it didn’t. Yet, as I went through the house shopping process (finally opting to have a new house built–and helping design the floor plan) I was confident God was confirming that I would eventually find the right woman to marry, there would be kids, and I would need a home office. When I told people that I was having a 4-bedroom, 3,000-square-foot house built, most would say, “All that just for you?” I told them that it wasn’t just for me, that eventually the house would be full with a family.

In those five years, God has chosen to bestow those blessings on me. I’m feeling really blessed and believe God is honored as I give Him praise for His gifts to me. He gave me a wonderful wife nearly three years ago. I have been working from home for the past year and just accepted a new job that will allow me to continue to work from home. And, we’re 7 weeks pregnant.

God is good. God has been good to me. God will continue to be good to me. Praise God, He is worthy!

June 29, 2007

7 weeks, 11 mm, all is well

Filed under: family, pregnancy — noisedoctor @ 12:50 pm

We just went for our week 7 ultrasound and checkup today. Our baby is now 11mm long and had a heartbeat of 138 BPM. All is well! The baby is starting to look like a baby on the ultrasound. I’ll get the scanner out this weekend, promise 🙂

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